The start of a new life Chelseas Journey journal

[CHELSEA CATRIONA IVANKO]

'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'LL USE THEM HOWEVER YOU WANT TO
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I had been gone the very next day, her personal jet readied to be departed for her to Egypt. God she had not been there in such a long time, and yet at the same time she wondered if it could ever be possible that I would return to that country. But yet Egypt was just the start of the journey. I would check out the caves first around the region. Since I have provided a guide for my self and my crue then there should be no worry about things creeping up on us.

Besides that I also have made plans to journey to different parts of the middle east. I hope that the shifter I left behind is taken good care of and she might at last find happiness as well. I would have never guessed that one day my path would be crossing with a shifter. But here I am and here is what I have so far , I now know that its in the middle east.

Now were would that be that’s really what I have to look for. Also I have decided to check the book shops as well as the stores. But that was just one step to the journey. It is said that a sand storm would be coming in and my people have also told me that it is best to look through the public Egyptian library for this legend and then move on from there to a more brighter future and possibly the source to my new life.

We land at Cairo in 3 hours and why am I nervous I really don’t know. It seems like my whole body is just one mass of emotions and feelings. Maybe its just me right. But I might also be jumping in to fast . Anyways here goes the first weeks of my stay here If I am lucky I can find this woman and get my reward but how long will it take that is the most trickiest part of this process

I hope that I can make it. But so far I don’t want to give up hopes that I will complete this and actually make it back to America. So far I have reservations to vehicles as well as stay at the best hotels. This was the only thing she could do for now, with how the journey progressed she could say that maybe she could find some solution but so far she could not and she was just at the start of it..

To add to other things she felt herself trapped and yet nervous maybe she should not feel like so , maybe she should just be calm and stay in the positive. Yes that was what she would need to do stay positive. But why was she so nervous why she was suddenly so scared of failing. Maybe she was just being foolish. God there she went again thinking bad and not thinking that there could be some reality to what she was doing.

Chelsea

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[CHELSEA CATRIONA IVANKO]

'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'LL USE THEM HOWEVER YOU WANT TO
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Cairo so far has been wonderful. My stops to the libraries and caves have not resulted in anything it has already been around 1 month since I have stayed here and explored the city. I know it now by heart and it is quite funny but I have studied every possible glyph that this woman appears on. Especially the books that show how she produced children and so forth. She was like a miracle goddess to the ancients until her demise. I wonder now if it is because she turned vamp or if she was foolish. But anyways tomorrow I head out towards Israel .

But then fears hit me , doubts that I will be able to complete this challenge in my life and if at all the legend is true. Many people even my men and crue members tell me that I am following a hopeless dream that I will never be able to achieve what I came here for. But even though they say it in a most pleasing way to me it sounds bitter to ears. It taste almost like if I am eating rotten food and if nothing was ever making me happy. I find solitude in my camp and my tent I break things at night and now I am starving my self how long till I find this one solution to my dilemma.

That is not the only problem we are running out of Rashions and there are people disappearing in the camp thanks to me and my hunger . I could really not control my self at all it was just happening so naturally that I could not hold my self back. Why could I not hold my self back it was not normal in me. But then again I kept during the day moral up and searched sometimes on my own the caves especially at night double checking and triple checking that there was no spot left unturned.

Why was this desperation taking hold of me, why was it that I wanted this trouble to be over and done with. Who knows what life awaits, and tomorrow is another day, and what of the next week and the months and the days that would pass without going back until going home with my prize. What of the people that would soon leave her instead. But the ones who would stay would be highly rewarded she would make sure of that in lots of money and new installations in their homes as well as her thanks for this journey. I know that I am overpaying also some people but this is dire to me. The one thing that I want more than anything . I never took it as something special my last preganancy but this time I am going to give it my all and make it something worth to take care of and this time I am going to take care of it with all my power.

I go tonight to a place where they say that a woman has been living there as well as seeing a few people enter and come out lets hope that she is the woman who I have been looking for.

Chelsea

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[CHELSEA CATRIONA IVANKO]

'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'LL USE THEM HOWEVER YOU WANT TO
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

No luck , no luck in finding this woman. The cave that we explored last night did have some traces of fires and herbs but nothing there was nothing there. If I had a suspicion then there had to be someone there . Someone who knew that they were coming and had gone away. What was more is that I found things like pottery shards and laps could this be the place that the woman this legendary woman was before.

My guides tell me that a sand storm is coming and while I display out maps in the darkness they settle to give me light. I don’t mind skipping a meal tonight, so far I just want to concentrate on the maps and possibly find a solution. It has also not been my first time here, and for the last couple of weeks I have been turning up and down several caves that have seemed inhabited but then they are not.

It seems like all the caves have a relationship. We are near the border of Afghanistan and palistan and yet at the same time far away and with nothing around us but rather the dirt and the sand storms that are coming our way. Either way I Start to work on the relationship of the pattern and what it means hopefully I can get a relation to it all and make a solution for it. But so far my mind is twisted around and all I see in the maps is a gold star. In the last part though there seems to be something different with it. It will look like a star but then stars don't have six points. Maybe the map was the key I would have to study it more deeply but for now I don’t even trust it I don’t even know if this thing is real or not.

So far I am to tired and to crazy to even think properly. But I cant waste time , also I haven’t even gotten ready I have lost my habits of prim and proper in this journey. But I guess that was what makes things all the worth wile. She could now see that if things went her way, if her efforts and her deceit and disbelief that she could do this but in the end what was worth it all. To bring life, even if they were more in the world and one more would create a dis-balance. She did not care.

Yes tonight she had realized that there was something worth more than what she was doing. She was doing this because of her, she was not doing it to satisfy her, she was not doing it to actually give her wishes and hopes and dreams. This was now to be her dream and above all she was going to be the one who would always now from this moment on she would follow her heart and protect everything that she hold dear.

Turning back to the maps , she sighed and smiled. Her hands grabbing a pen as she started to sigh what she would decide. She would first investigate first the other caves first and then the last would be her destination.

Chelsea

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[CHELSEA CATRIONA IVANKO]

'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'LL USE THEM HOWEVER YOU WANT TO
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

It has been two months, and yet I have not listened to my gut instinct to go to the point were my maps are pointing. It is really north of here and it is not very far. To be honest many people have now left me, and I am just to my own devices. It is just me and a map and there is nothing and no one that can stop me. Also since there is no human blood I have resulted into eating animal blood and at it is my last resource.

The cooler which the shifter blood was in and there was nothing else. Nothing else to loose all my months of careful planning and actual finding had come to the end at last she was going to get what she wanted . She just hoped that the woman was there. But then again what if she was not, what if she was actually being led to another dead end how could she trust in this one source.

I parted that night when I came back to the cave I had been lodging . I parted with the blood and a pack of animal blood to sustain me and walked into the dessert never looking back and leaving all the equipment that I could to actually survive the miles that I had to walk either way there was no turning back and there was no way in heaven that she was going to change her mind that one little mistake or that the blood she was carrying was rotten then she would plead with the creature.

With how the journey had progressed It seemed that there was a thought in her head which made her always fall and turn around failure but would she fail in this her most dire challenge of all time or would she succeed and come home with a prize. The desert sands crossed her, the wind ravaged her and yet she continued on walking slowly. It was making sense, she took breaks with each mile she crossed and then after a while to sate her hunger she drank the whole blood of the animal she had killed but not the shifter.

Never the shifters though it was smelling tasty she would never cross there. She was saving that for the godess whatever she was going to do a key part was keeping this blood safe and she would do that even if she starved herself. Before long she knew that her blood pack was gone and when she finally came to the place were it was marked she sighed happily and looked around.

She saw it, it was a lonely desert and the hill in front of her was high enough and hard enough for people to climb she wondered if this was the spot were destiny was going to finally take hold of her and teach her what was worth in life and what was not worth in life.
Starting to walk towards the hill. She saw a cave entrance and sighed so that was were she had to go.

Chelsea

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template by emilita of caution 2.0[/blockquote][/blockquote][/center]

[CHELSEA CATRIONA IVANKO]

'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'LL USE THEM HOWEVER YOU WANT TO
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Climbing the hill was not so easy in my weak state, yet I have made it so far to the entrance of the cave. For now I just have to enter and see how far I go and if anything at all were it will take me. My stomach is fluttering and I don’t know if I should continue or yet stay here and wait for her to come out. But yet my feet by it own accord start walking and almost dragging my self down the cave. My hunger is almost insatiable. I cant express how much I just want to give up. But then when I stumble and fall down deeper in to the cave I feel like if the blood that I am caring for with my very own life might slip away from my own fingers. The journey was tough but she was more tougher than anything else and if this Zaramama was here then she would be most happy.

She was also receiving bruises and light bumps with how narrow and how tiny the cave was becoming sometimes she was dragging herself and sometimes she was ducking. Whatever was at the end or whoever was in the cave she could already see the lights flicker from inside and she wondered if at last she had arrived to the place where she was suppose to be. But it was glorious she was almost there and there was nothing that was going to stop her even more so , she would beg if she was asked to leave. She would beg for her own life and a new one she would change whatever she was in need of changing and she would she just needed a chance that was it . Everything in life could change even once self. She just needed a chance and she would give anything back for the things that the goddess would do.

But then when she reached the last part , she felt that her strength was dying and she was nothing more already than a paper doll. But then hearing movement , she started to look around the cave and wondered why all of a sudden was she hearing footsteps maybe she was just crazy and she was imagining things. Maybe she was also in an abandoned cave and after all she had been in so many thought the entire thing that she could not really recognize it either which was which. She was also terribly sorry if she was tress passing she never meant it and most of all she was actually wondering if she was doing the proper thing at all.

Whichever way she was doing it she was truly and most terribly sorry, also clumsy if the woman or man who was actually stepping towards her was either angry or mad . She better apologize first rather than anything and not speak a word until everything was done and over with. But then maybe she should not even say sorry at all. Oh why was she changing her mind now.

Chelsea

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